the knitted purl

A CT girl's adventures in knitting, marriage, pregnancy and this thing called life. Happy reading...

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Egg Salad on Rye

Today, life is but an egg salad sandwich on rye.

Somedays, you're lobster, somedays you're moldy cheese. Somedays you're in-between, and you're egg salad.

Life's been zipping by. I'm going through the motions, and everything's in check. Days, weeks and months are flying by, and it's time I do some me-things. Everyone needs to do these, to stay balanced. I haven't gone to the gym in eons, I haven't read a book- or listened to my Ipod..
Instead, I have multi-tasked, tried to get ahead, get afloat, and catch up. I've done things, but haven't been things. I haven't been into the moment, but instead tasked the moment.

Today when I had lunch (egg salad) with my friend Tamara, she told me I look serious. I feel serious. Those of you that know me, know, I'm not serious. I never order f*cking egg salad. I'm into lobster and living a bit on the edge.. I don't want to settle for egg salad. Yet I've been settling for egg salad, and way far into egg salad.

So how does one go about changing their life-food selections? How do I bag this serious rutt I'm in? It starts with actually going to the gym, the beautiful gym that I pay $50 a month for.. that has a pool.. and showers that have the nozzles that really have the water hit your back hard like it's massaging you. And bubble baths. I haven't had a bubble bath in what, a year now? that's insane. In singlehood, I never would've allowed this to slip from my weekly pattern. But with marriage and stepkids, comes routine, tasks and 5-minute showers.

I've also slipped into the pattern of talking about the tasks in parenting and marriaging versus doing things. Scott & I golfed 3x a week when we were first married. We did date things. I was spontaneous, I would run through a sprinkler on a side street just because. I'd do anything on a dare (and have the pictures for proof..) But today, I'm as Tamara says, "serious." Don't get me wrong, this did not happen overnight, and without a fight. I've fought serious and routine. Tooth and nail. Somehow I lost my will to fight it.. and became accepting of the sandwich selection.

So although tonight I'll go home to egg salad, by end of week, I'll be lobster. xo Chele

1 Comments:

  • At November 26, 2005, Blogger Nance said…

    Hi Chele,

    Thanks for pottering on over to my blog - I couldn't resist the temptation of a return visit.

    Well, egg salad! I love egg salad as long as it has a bit of grated onion in it and some tangy mayonnaise. But no onion, no tang? Nope, don't want it. And like you, don't want to live it. Interestingly, I've done the living with stepkids routine as well. Well, one stepdaughter, with mega-developmental problems, as a result of 15 bouts of neurosurgery to save her life from a brain tumour when she was tiny. And her mother treated her like a cretin and turned her into a self-pitying creature with no confidence whatever. So I got her to look after when she was 15 and you know what? Within two weeks of coming to live somewhere she felt safe and where there was a spirit of optimism alive and well, her personality changed dramatically. She probably would've ended up in a "facility" as she has memory problems and can't really work. But instead of that, she's had her own apartment for the last six years, and volunteers at a charity shop six days a week and is thriving. She's the happiest most cheerful person I know. She simply needed to have loads of hugs and reinforcement that she's a good, worthwhile girl. Well, don't we all?

    So you go, girl, be your lobster self. Nobody knows how much time they're looking at ahead of them on this mortal coil, so give it some wellie (as they say in Britain, wellies being Wellington boots, or gum rubbers as a synonym) and get yourself feeling good and worthwhile.

    Love,
    Nance

     

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